It has been 1 week++ almost 2 weeks in Penang now.
In the beginning of my idea of blogging on the very 1st post about my Penang life, I wanted to post something that is very cheerful and excited.
But I can't do it. I am living neither fun nor enjoyable here. I miss my friends, my parents, my home in KL.
I am scared, terrified.
I am not that tough as I imagine or you imagine. I am still a little girl who wants pampering from my parents, stay in my status-quo, my comfort zone. I know I have to grow up since I am not young anymore. Yet this is difficult.
Ever since I came here, I face a lot of difficulty and obstacle. There is some times I feel extremely bad luck.

I figure out I am not good in socialize. When I smile to people, they just ignore me. This make me fear to talk to people cos I scared to get hurt again. I just knew a few people here. All I have is those form 6 friends while other is just hi-bye friends. I don't know what to talk to my course mates while I can talk to others that is not my course mates. Is it my own strange problem???
I fall, I cut and I hurt myself. 1st is the umbrella cut my fingers and just this evening, I fall down and hurt my knees.
The studies is all in Malay but all my text books and reference books are all in English. How am I gonna study in this condition??? I need to translate to Malay before starts reading??? This is hard! I am slow and weak in studies, but now I have to translate before study??? Where got that much time to do it??? Besides that, I also got a lot of assignment, assignment and assignment need to do in every course! Not including the co-curriculum yet which is a add on marks in my studies!
My room, err still barely satisfied with it but the hygiene of my bathroom is a big problem! Always wet and hair-hair in the bathroom and also once the toilet is congested! Oh my god the water just doesn't leak out and fill with water in the toilet. I can't stand with this dirty-ness!
I meet my mum this few days because of the holiday for the national day. She talk a lot to me and one of the memorable one is she doesn't dare to back home because of me. She notice I can't get used to the life here and wanted to stay until I am ok with the life here. I just keep smiling and said I am fine. So tomorrow she is going back to KL already. I feel really reluctant to see her to leave, but I must be strong in front of her so that she won't worry about me.

I just want to be happy. Is that hard to get it???